The only way I seem to write these days is when I write about having nothing to say. It's like:
- Empty pockets and a missing wallet when you've already loaded the groceries onto the conveyor belt.
- Putting on lipstick in a moving car with no mirror.
- Trying to find that one black shirt in a dresser full of nothing but black clothing.
That's how this often feels. Then I remember the mantra I repeat to my mother whenever we find ourselves at the bottom of a mountain of a problem.
These are easy problems with easy solutions.
And because I loathe hypocrisy I have to take my own goddamn advice:
- Most grocery stores will ring you out, pack your bags, and let you come back with money to pay the tab. I know this because just last week, I did this very thing at Whole Foods and had to backtrack to Trader Joe's to pick up the wallet some kind soul found in the parking lot and returned to customer service. Trader Joe's let me in well past closing.
- You have a smart phone. Use the camera as a mirror to put on your lipstick. Or, wait until the car stops. Lipstick takes seconds to put on and I'm sure you look gorgeous, anyway.
- Wear another color.
Who am I kidding. A good black shirt is worth the extra 10 minutes spent searching.